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Depression
is no pussycat: it is a black dog, a hellhound. It is not thin autumn
light but dark sun and depthless fall. Because its estate is one of
mute disenchantment, you lack even the mortal consolation of art. Art
is a field alive with sun motes and glyphic rooks; depression is the
severed ear.
That said, depression has become something of an oversubscribed pitch
in the black economy of confessional writing; and the prospect of
another young, gifted and rich 'depressive' come to tell us about hell
on trust-funded earth did not excite my own meagre sero tonin to
butcher-than-usual levels.
However, get past the icky profiles that have attended Andrew Solomon -
over-medicated, over-mediated and over here: Prozac's doe-eyed poster
boy - and you find an exemplary text. Solomon is one of those New
Yorker-trained writers who can charm the peacocks onto the lawn with
mere statistical ballast; he is acutely aware of the contradictions at
every turn of his tale, and the investigative reporter in him overrides
the easier impulse to self-dramatisation. His own pain serves as a
conduit to wider quandaries, where too many writers remain hypnotised
by the dark mirror of disclosure.
Another common problem with 'the literature' is that people too often
have a position - pro-Prozac, anti-analysis - to push. Solomon
maintains a sharply perplexed outlook: he needles away at depression as
if it was some malign multinational - Melancholia, Inc - always getting
away with unaccountable intrusions into innocent lives. There's an
almost thriller-ish pulse as he sorts through competing theories: is
the villain neuro-chemistry or misapplied nurture? Personal hubris or
unbiddable fate? All the signs seem to point to it being as simple -
depressingly simple - as plain bad luck.
Many of us carry a genetic predisposition to depression, but if we
manage to avoid coarsening addictions and personal grief (and the new
Lee Evans sitcom), then the blade may never fall. Alternatively, you
may live the kind of life previously only available to Moorish princes,
but one day find yourself - like Solomon - gaspingly inert, helplessly
incontinent, cluelessly incoherent: 'depressed'.
Solomon's glisteningly privileged life (Upper East Side family wealth,
Yale, Cambridge, improbably lovely homes on two continents, early
acclaim) actually works to his narrative's advantage, providing a
suitably operatic backdrop for his descent into depression's
underworld. His inaugural breakdown was triggered by the loss of his
mother, in what is a strikingly Oedipal tale. (Oedipus in analysis:
'very' New York.)
A certain airlessness can afflict the depressive memoir - leading the
reader into unworthy thoughts about the author being all too
self-obsessed, depression or no depression. Solomon is scrupulously
inclusive - like a wise Narcotics Anonymous chairperson, who leads
strangers straight to the most pertinent part of their story, the parts
of speech that are both messily singular and chimingly common. The
Noonday Demon is formidably well researched: Solomon has a particularly
keen touch with quotations and the testimony of others, building up a
rich polylogue where other writers have settled for stark midnight
soliloquy.
If I can't join his chorus of approval for the prescription fix, it
can't be said he doesn't consider all the other options. (He's tenderly
amusing about the battier alternatives.) If you have not had the
experience of feeling your previously inviolate 'I' rearranged by
drugs, legal or otherwise, it's hard to describe the attendant
ontological shock: finding that the merest chemical veto or kiss can
wholly undo the 'who' that you think you are. This is Copernicus in
inner space: 'you' revolve around your neural mood, and not vice versa;
your whole history may come down to potluck increments of this or that
synaptic cement. What is posed as excitingly dark allegory in Lacan and
Derrida becomes a clammily immediate reality: 'I' is indeed another . .
. and one written in the opaque inks of biochemistry.
In the wake of truly wretched depressive episodes, Solomon the patient
is ready to accept the stabilising ties of psycho-pharmacology. Here
lies the razor's edge - razor supplied by Occam. Do we accept calamity
as a human given, or let medicine write us a new 'script' for
refillable eudaemonism? Paradise repeat-prescribed? Lives freed of
crippling absence, yes - but Prozac's smooth and sexless pact also
disappears the dark cameos of Van Gogh, Artaud, Plath, Lowry, Cobain.
Ineradicable sadness may be a tax we must accept for accessing the more
distant, moon-dust regions of ourselves. Love, too, can be a disabling
monstrosity - then should we eradicate love? Indeed, Solomon theorises
some depression as a form of evicted love, and is brave enough to admit
a further possibility - that depression may occasionally smuggle in
functions as epiphanic as they are disabling. Many sufferers find that
depression's parting trace is also a first step towards previously
unimagined spiritual complexity. Downtime can be the dark angel that
delivers Rilke's urgent message: you must change your life.
There are political questions here too - the current wonder-drug status
of Prozac being a depressingly familiar spectre. (Cocaine and morphine
both were likewise hailed as handfuls of hope.) Prozac - trialed and
trailed as a last-hope remedy for degree-zero depressives - is now
doled out to mildly alienated everyman and his literal dog. Why are we
so rosily accepting of Prozac, while maintaining our idiot's 'war' on
all non-corporate medicines? If I'm making it sound like Solomon ducks
such questions, he doesn't. In fact, the best one can hope for is that
The Noonday Demon becomes a lodestone work: its value - whatever ad hoc
quibbles one may have with Solomon's analysis - is that it takes what
is a depressingly familiar tale, and makes it speak lessons of far
wider import.
When you are truly depressed, eloquence counts for nothing: your mind
has more in common with 5am TV static than the prose of Bernhardt or
Beckett. That Solomon has shaped a richly eloquent testament from his
own seasons in hell kindles something like hope in this unhappy reader.
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